That ear on your forehead creeps me out

Not much is going on in Birdland, but I figured since I had a short day at work, I might as well do a post.

Didn’t catch Roger Clemens’ interview last night, but I heard some highlights (here’s the link. My favorite line:

“If he’s doing that to me, I should have a third ear coming out of my forehead. I should be pulling tractors with my teeth,” said Clemens

That’s just stupid. Clemens has been around longer to know what enhancers do and what the affects are. Here he’s just playing dumb and trying to play the ignorant card. He’s smarter than this.

“It’s hogwash for people to even assume this,” Clemens said. “Twenty-four, 25 years, Mike. You’d think I’d get an inch of respect. An inch.”

I think Clemens has gotten a couple miles worth of respect. But we’re talking performance enhancers here. There’s been whispers for years that Clemens was on something. His trainer said he injected him. His best friend in baseball, Andy Pettite, said he’s done it. The two have trained together for years. Aren’t we entitled to have doubts and ask questions?

“Why didn’t I keep doing it if it was so good for me? Why didn’t I break down? Why didn’t my tendons turn to dust?”

“I think it’s a self-inflicted penalty. They break down quick. It’s a quick fix,” he said. “They’re in and out of the game.”

He sort of has a point with the second quote. A lot of the names in the Mitchell Report were of players who did breakdown quickly or were injury prone. Look at our own Jay Gibbons, the Giambis, Kevin Brown, Eric Gagne, Denny Neagle, and Mo Vaughn. These were or are players who do have a talent for finding ways to get on the Disabled List.  But some of the other names were of players who do not have ‘dusty tendons.’ Miguel Tejada had a 1,000+ consecutive game streak going before he broke his hand and went on the DL. Steroids don’t break your hand, so he didn’t break down. Andy Pettite, Paul Byrd, Gary Matthews Jr, and Brian Roberts haven’t broke down. Barry Bonds, the kingpin of alleged doping, has cranky legs but he’s 44 and still out there.

I’ve never been a huge Clemens fan because that for most of his career he’s played against us in the division. He’s been a Red Sox, Blue Jay, Astro, and a Yankee (twice). The Astros are the only ones who aren’t in the AL East, so I’ve never really rooted for Clemens. I’ve always thought he was a good pitcher and would have loved to have him on our team. Hey, maybe it was B-12. If that’s the case, he can return to Houston and him and Tejada can shoot B-12 til they’re green in the face. It just doesn’t seem right to me. Pettite at least came forward quick and said ‘yeah, I’ve done it a couple times in my career.’ Maybe he did it more than twice, but at least Pettite fessed up.

Does Clemens now become the next Mark McGwire? Does he loomed in the sunset as a possibly tainted great player? A fan favorite, now an outcast from the sport that made him great? It’s a shame. Love him or hate him, he was good on the field, but now we are left to wonder how good would have been without the possible aid from enhancers.

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About last night…

This team does its best at finding ways to lose ballgames. Sam used…i dunno…20 relievers in the 8th to try to get three outs. Its a shame that Bedard’s great start had to be flushed down the tubes because the bullpen can’t work an inning.

Predictions:

  • This homestand is Perlozzo’s last stand
  • Bullpen adjustments will be made (Williams and Parrish down…I doubt Baez has the ability contract-wise to be sent down barring injury and Rob Bell and Hoey up)
  • House and Knott have to get on this team, it makes too much sense. Then you realize this is the Orioles we’re talking about. I’m going to say these two are up in a week. Castillo and Bynum go.
  • The O’s are sellers at the deadline.

I hope I’m right.

Good teams find ways to win games, the O’s find ways to lose them.

Perlozzo Watch Day 5

No game today. Hooray. This is something new I’m starting up, but it may not be a long lasting feature since Sam already has one foot out the door.

I’ve based the number of days from the watershed moment of Perlozzo’s big blunder, the Mother’s Day Massacre. There were screw-ups before then….many but that was THE one that set it all off.

Here’s the reason for the day why Sam has got to go:

From the Sun

After falling, 2-1, to the Blue Jays before an announced 24,339 at Rogers Centre, pinch runner Freddie Bynum and first base coach Sam Mejias exchanged heated words as they came off the field after the final out.”

When Freddie Bynum is exchanging HEATED words with coaches….geez…it’s crazy and not the good kind of crazy. To paraphase the great writer Shea Hillenbrandt “This ship is a sinkin’.” And Capt. Perlozzo has lost control of his crew and lost course of the ship.

sigh

@#$#*&##@!@*#!!!!!

Man, I hate this team sometimes.

Today is one of team.

Jeremy Guthrie, thanks for your 8.1 innings of shutout ball. To bad our 100 trillion dollar bullpen can’t get 2 dang outs. I’m staring right at you Chris Ray.

Sam Perlozzo, you haven’t earned much love either by yanking Guthrie out after Ramon dropped the pop-out. But this one is mainly on the shoulders of Baez and especially especially especially Chris Ray.

2 outs.

2 simple measly outs.

And we can’t get them.

I feel sick to my stomach.

The Orioles have a Brother in suffering

I just got done talking with my buddy Chris and we were talking about how miserable our seasons have been. Chris is a Cubs fan, so if anyone knows something about heartache and wretched seasons, he should. We’ve noticed that our teams have a lot in common (besides finding new ways to lose and disappoint). The Orioles have a habit of swinging trades to get cast-offs from the Cubs. Sometimes it works (Corey Patterson) sometimes it does not work at all (Sammy Sosa).

Want some ways?

1. Injuries. The Cubs may have the market cornered on injured players, but we’ve had our share this season. 

The Cubs have had  Prior and Wood on the DL most of the season (the team should just go ahead and write their names on the DL in permanent marker). Derek Lee went down. Michael Barrett had the most painful injury we men can imagine. I’m sure there’s more… in fact I know there’s more.

The Orioles have had Brian Roberts go down. Jay Gibbons (who I am now tired of) do his annual crumbling act. The former Oriole known as Javy Lopez was a DL mainstay. David Newhan broke his leg. Corey Patterson banged up his shoulder. Injuries happen, but the first half was brutal to the O’s.

2.Both teams have had several players regress unexpectantly.

The O’s? Rodrigo Lopez and Bruce Chen were supposed to be dependable starters. This season, the only things you can depend on these two for is to break your heart and give up runs.  Rodrigo is one loss away away from tying the O’s season franchise record. I hope he gets it, especially since I’ve heard nothing but how he wants that tenth win.

Ryan Dempster was supposed to be the ace closer for the Cubs. The guy had a great season last year, but this season has been a nighmare in the ninth for Cubs fans.  In 2005 he has a 3.13 ERA and 33 saves out of 35 chances. This season it’s a 4.84 ERA (1-8 record) and 24 saves out of 32. Hey, Ryan..Todd Williams called and he wants his stats back.

3. Erik Bedard and Carlos Zambrano are brothers in suffering. Both of them have great stats and have mostly quality starts, but they either get no support or their bullpen will give the lead up.

4.  The Managing has been lacking…BUT

Sam Perlozzo does not overwhelm with his in-game saavy. He has a bunt fetish that bothers me. Why do you have your hottest hitter (Nick Markakis last month, Melvin Mora Thursday) bunt with 2 outs? To Sam’s defense, this roster is like giving someone a go-cart to race in the Daytona 500 and calling them a lousy driver when they finish at the bottom of the field.

Dusty Baker has never been accuser of being a brilliant manager, but he’s had a lot of tough luck this season. He was supposed to get an extension that never came and he’s been kicked around in Chicago. I thought, on paper, the Cubs should have won the NL Central. You don’t play the game on paper though. The Injuries have destroyed the Cubs and doomed Dusty from the start. I’m surprised he lasted the season.

Solution?

Merge the teams.

Why not?

An Infield on Lee, Roberts, Tejada, Ramierez would be awesome.

Zambrano, Bedard, Benson, Lowen, Hill….and Cabrera..who the hell knows about Cabrera.

Prior and Wood would have no spot on this team. I’ve heard too much suffering that the contant injuries of these two have wrought on their fans and I want none of that.

An outfield of Markakis, Pierre, Murton with Melvin Mora doing utlity.

Ramon and Michael Barrett splitting Catcher and DH. Or Jacque Jones, I don’t know… it’s a good problem to have when you see Fernado Tatis DH.

The Cubs have a better bullpen than the O’s (there’s minor league teams with better bullpens than the Orioles) with the exception of the closer role. We have a great closer and boom.

Of course, this is merely a filler daydream post in a lost season. But it does show you that Orioles fans aren’t the only ones who are glad that the miserable  stretch known as 2006 will soon be over and hopefully better days (and some better players) await for the Orioles (and hey, the Cubs too).

site notes: I’ll be at the beach Thursday-Sunday, so I won’t be posting for a good reason. I won’t be here. For four days I’ll be at the beach in NC, not the senior paradise known as Myrtle Beach, having a last hurrah with friends before Summer’s over (actually it ended today but you know what I mean)….I’m not happy with the site and will look to get things adjusted soon….

My deadbeat friend, the Orioles

There have been two reasons that I don’t post as regular as I used to:

1. This blog is a labor of love, yet I don’t feel like posting everyday.

2. The Orioles stink.

I’m going to draw a parrarel here, just bare with me as I get it set up…

I’ve realized that the O’s are like that friend you had when you were in elementary school, the one who had the new nintendo (with powerpad), all the new toys, the big house, and played every little league sport. You were best friends then and during high school you still said hey in the hallways but you lost touch. Then one day, nine years after graduation you have to run into Walmart and get some tube socks and a bag of Doritos and you bump into him.

Now he’s a massive underachiever. Instead of accepting that scholarship to Duke, he burns trash at the landfill. (underachiever, like the O’s…see). He’s got a bad defeatist attitude. His reasoning often makes little or no sense.  Then there’s the money he’s wasted over the last nine years. He blew on cheap women, child support, mudflaps, and six packs of schlitz beer. You still keep in touch with him because you know he’s good guy and you’re rooting for him to get it all back together. But he rarely or never calls you back. Everytime you meet somewhere he’s always late. Anytime he sees you he needs you to help him with something (shouldn’t take more than a couple hours….after the hour drive to Anderson), needs to borrow some tools you’ll never see again, or needs money. He’ll hit on your sister…or your girlfriend. But for some reason you still like the guy. He promises you that give him a little time and he’ll get himself back together. You believe him…but after the 6th time you don’t anymore..especially after you realize that he picked your pocket.

I haven’t watched much of the O’s lately. I did see Erik Bedard’s shutout of the Red Sox, but at this point of the season, I don’t go out of my way to watch a 17-2 thumping or a 2-0 shutout where Kris Benson gets screwed over by the offense again. If I’m home and a games on, I’ll turn it on…but the 2006 Baltimore Orioles have worn out their welcome with me.

Onto happier things, The Clemson Tigers defeated the much hated FSU Seminoles 27-20 on a 1 yard touchdown by James Davis with 8 seconds left. Special teams tried to give this game away, allowing two kicks by Jad Dean (one XP, one FG) blocked and both returned for 2 pts and the other for a touchdown. That’s something that will have to be addressed, but it was a great game in a day of great games (LSU-Auburn, Oklahoma-Oregeon, Florida-Tennesee,) and some great buttkickings..Miami and Notre Dame getting theirs kicked.

I’m going to have to figure what to post when this season of misery and heartbreak is over and the playoffs are over. I’m not going to post twice a week about how we have to sign Soriano or Carlos Lee and then moan until spring training once they go elsewhere. I’ll figure something out.

Carl Pavano is a walking disaster.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2565358

Remember when the Orioles were in the running for this ass? I remember that offseason two years ago where it was the O’s, the Red Sox, and the Yanks. I think it was Sports Illustrated where I read how the O’s look him to Camden Yard and had him on the mound and had his picture on the Jumbotron and said he would the Orioles’ opening day starter….and he went to the Yankees.

Thank God.

He’s 4-6 in in two seasons (he hasn’t pitched for the Yanks this season). He’s hurt his back. He’s hurt his shoulder. He’s hurt his shoulder. He’s hurt his butt. Now he’s broken two ribs. How did the incredible collasping man do this?

From the ESPN.com article.

Pavano crashed his 2006 Porsche into a tractor trailer in West Palm Beach, Fla., on Aug. 15, causing $30,000 in damages to his car, according to a West Palm Beach police report.

Pavano’s car hydroplaned, he lost control and the vehicle struck a tractor trailer, the report states.

First, I’m glad he’s ok. He’s lucky two broken ribs are all he walked away with.

Here’s the kicker.

Damages to the truck, which belongs to the Solid Waste Authority of Palm Beach County, were estimated at $20,000 in the report.

A Porsche crashes into a dump truck and causes $20,000 worth of damages to THE DUMP TRUCK. How fast was he going…300 mph? Does his Porsche have a missle launcher? Of course, he neglected to tell the Yankees about the wreck and the two busted ribs and continued to pitch. I’m wondering when the Yankees cut their losses and dump the walking mash unit known as Pavano.

Speaking mash units…the Red Sox are done.

Manny, David Ortiz, and Wily Mo Pena are all out indefinately.

Manny’s knee, Ortiz has an irregular heart beat, and Pena has a hand issue. The Red Sox’s pitching has not been good, but they’ve had their offense to carry them, now they have no offense, no pitcing (outside of Schilling), no chance. At least they have Javy Lopez and his broad shoulders to carry them to the playoffs…wait, scratch that…

And the O’s are losing 7-3 in the 7th against the Rangers tonight. Rodrigo Lopez started tonight, so you know there likely wouldn’t be a shutout. He didn’t do bad, thanks in part to homeplate Umpire Larry Vanover’s everchanging strikezone. The 7th is where it all went so horribly horribly wrong. Wait, it’s now 9-3 in the 7th and the inning isn’t over yet. Russ Ortiz is warming up in the bullpen.

I’m thinking this is sign that I need to catch up on some sleep.