If I were a baseball player

I ripped this idea off from Rob’s blog, where he got it from Off Wing Opinion, and I’m just translating it from hockey to baseball.

Team I’d play for: The Baltimore Orioles, of course.

Jersey Number:47

Position: 1st Base (Lord knows we need a first baseman anyway)

Nickname: Big Ben

At Bat Music: Paint it Black- Rolling Stones 

Strengths: High OBP, Great Defense

Weaknesses: A little too daring on the base paths at time, trying to stretch a single into a double.

Injury Problems: A little back issues

Biggest on the Field Enemy: All of the Yankees and Red Sox, but in particular Curt Schilling. This would stem from me calling him a jackass, a coward, and some other more choice words after he threw inside to during the 5th inning of 2-1 game (O’s lead) with two on and one out. He ended up hitting me above my knee and I ended up missing a few games as a result. Thus our hatred has flowed since.

Best Pals on the team: Brian Roberts, Nick Markakis, and Miggy. I drink a lot with Kevbo too.

Biggest team scandal involving me: I’m spotting during the bottom of an inning with the Free Birds rally crowd.

Media Darling or Barry Bonds? On a good day, I’d be the media’s best friend but after a bad game, it’d be best to keep a safe distance.

Shining moment of my career: A diving catch in the ALCS, top on the ninth with the bases loaded and one out. I leap and extend for about a mile to steal what would have been a base clearing double by Derek Jeter. Instead, it ends up being a game ending double play because A-Rod gets caught in the base paths.

World Series Foe: The O’s against the Braves. A trip back home to play the team that’s always been a little bit of my ‘hometown’ team.

Hall of Famer? I’d probably in up being in the Hall of Very Good.


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